Episode Data

The Green Green Grass

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Season 0

• _{Sunday, December 25th, 2005}

  1: One Flew Over the Cuckoo Clock

  When the family are meant to go to ski resort, Boycie starts having nightmares of the Driscoll brothers coming to get him. Unfortunately all the snow outside stops them going to the ski resort. But luckily Boycie then finds out that the Driscoll Brothers were going to kill at that resort, and they then end up getting captured.

• _{Monday, December 25th, 2006}

  2: From Here to Paternity

  Jed, Elgin and Bryan are convinced a mythical creature is stalking Winterdown Farm, and Llewellyn accusing the Boyces' dog of seducing his pedigree collie. Meanwhile, Beth is set for a Christmas surprise and Tyler spreads a rumour that Mrs Cakeworthy is pregnant - a revelation that comes as quite a shock to her husband as they've not been intimate for some time! All ends up well... except for Farmer Boyce's eyes!

• _{Sunday, December 30th, 2007}

  3: The Special Relationship

  Boycie is asked to turn detective when an unexpected visitor arrives at Winterdown Farm with a secret from the past that, if confirmed, will have massive consequences for one member of the staff.

Season 1

• _{Friday, September 9th, 2005}

  1: Keep on Running

  All is well in Peckham. Marlene is off to a health farm as Boycie rises to take the dog for a walk and their son Tyler is off to France for a school trip. It's just another ordinary day in the Boyce household. Then Denzil arrives bringing news that the infamous Driscoll Brothers are being released early from prison and they're on the hunt for the supergrass who helped get them banged up. Boycie is horrified. By the time Marlene and Tyler return, he's sold the house, sold the car dealership and planned a new life in Shropshire. Reluctantly Marlene agrees to the move and Tyler is dragged with them. Moving day comes and once north of the safe confines of the Thames, they find themselves hopelessly lost and out of their depth. They eventually track down their new home and discover that "The Grange" comes complete with some very strange characters.

• _{Friday, September 16th, 2005}

  2: A Rocky Start

  Tyler is not impressed by his new surroundings in rural Shropshier and Marlene wants to return to Peckham. However, the only fools and horses car supremo, Boycie, warms to the idea of becoming a gentleman farmer - a role which involves doing little work and mingling with the country set. Meanwhile, Boycie's manager. Elgin, pursuades him to retain all his staff and set about creating a working farm even if it means forking out £18.000 on a bull.

• _{Friday, September 23rd, 2005}

  3: The Country Wife

  Boycie outs Marlene under pressure to fit in with the locals, so she decides to take up cookery, an idea which doesn't go down to well with the family.

• _{Friday, September 30th, 2005}

  4: Hay Fever

  Marlene allows Boycie to buy a maximum of six cows for the farm, but is less than impressed when Elgin, Jed and Bryan turn up with a herd of 300 claiming they were on special deal and Marlene has but one thing to say "what kind of offer? Buy six, get 294 free". Meanwhile, The vet is called out when Rocky the bull fails to take notice of the females and Tyler prepares to sit a local private schools entrance exam.

• _{Friday, October 7th, 2005}

  5: Pillow Talk

  Tyler may have received a wakeup call from the Driscoll Brothers. However, his first day at school provides him with a sudden interest in the works of Thomas Hardy. Marlene has trouble sleeping until Jed provides an unusual remedy

• _{Friday, October 14th, 2005}

  6: Sex and the Country

  Marlene discovers the farmhands making a virility potion for Rocky the bull, and sneaks a dose into Boycie's coffee. Tyler arouses suspicions when make up is found in his room, and his parents are relieved to be told he has a girl friend, untill they learn she is his teacher.

• _{Sunday, December 25th, 2005}

  7: One Flew Over The Cuckoo Clock (2005 Christmas Special)

  When the family are meant to go to ski resort, Boycie starts having nightmares of the Driscoll brothers coming to get him. Unfortunately all the snow outside stops them going to the ski resort. But luckily Boycie then finds out that the Driscoll Brothers were going to kill at that resort, and they then end up getting captured.

Season 2

• _{Friday, September 15th, 2006}

  1: Testing Times

  Sleepless nights, confusion over chemicals and an EU farm inspection - just a normal day on the farm for Boycie and Marlene.... until Boycie loses his hair!

• _{Friday, September 22nd, 2006}

  2: Here's To You, Mrs Boyce

  Boycie considers a move into local politics. Bryan's ex-fiancée finds a cure for lesbianism. Tyler fails to score at Rugby, but creates a good impression. Marlene provides momentary distraction during Tyler's maths coursework, until Boycie steps in with his first aid knowledge.

• _{Friday, September 29th, 2006}

  3: Bothered and Bewildered

  Boycie decides his staff need to work harder and vows to sack the next employee he catches slacking. Mrs Cakeworthy is the first out the door, but she soon has her boss regretting her decision when the Londoner learns she is a witch. Elsewhere, Tyler has his own problems - he is traumatised by the school art class.

• _{Friday, October 6th, 2006}

  4: Mother Earth

  Beth's concern for animal welfare has far-reaching consequences for Winterdown Farm. Marlene's pursuit of a more holistic way of life proves to be crunch time for Boycie and something of an eye opener for Beth.

• _{Friday, October 13th, 2006}

  5: Schoolboy French

  The circle of life comes knocking at the Boyces' door with Tyler's French exchange student and a past love from Peckham sheds new light on old memories.

• _{Friday, October 20th, 2006}

  6: More Questions Than Answers

  Llewellyn has been forced to employ teachers over the summer as casual labour but even they can't help the fact that his farm is running at a massive deficit. With Boycie's farm doing well, Llewellyn challenges him to a pub quiz in the hope of winning £5,000.

• _{Friday, October 27th, 2006}

  7: Brothers and Sisters

  A family reunion leaves the staff of Winterdown Farm all tied up and lost for words, love is in the air for Bryan, and Boycie attempts to bury the past before the Driscoll Brothers bury him.

• _{Monday, December 25th, 2006}

  8: From Here to Paternity (2006 Christmas Special)

  Jed, Elgin and Bryan are convinced a mythical creature is stalking Winterdown Farm, and Llewellyn accusing the Boyces' dog of seducing his pedigree collie. Meanwhile, Beth is set for a Christmas surprise and Tyler spreads a rumour that Mrs Cakeworthy is pregnant - a revelation that comes as quite a shock to her husband as they've not been intimate for some time! All ends up well... except for Farmer Boyce's eyes!

Season 3

• _{Friday, November 2nd, 2007}

  1: But Is It Art?

  When Bryan and Elgin suffer a housing crisis Boycie and Marlene offer them sanctuary, but Boycie's benevolence towards his workers brings an unexpected reward of immortality.

• _{Friday, November 9th, 2007}

  2: The Lonely Herdsman

  When Marlene drags Boycie and Tyler to visit her mother Dora, the battle lines are drawn. Back at the farm, Bryan tries his hand at poetry to stop him feeling lonely whilst Mrs Cakeworthy surfs the net to help him find a solution.

• _{Friday, November 23rd, 2007}

  3: If You Go Down To The Woods

  Marlene is distraught when Earl the dog and Tyler both go missing. Boycie, Bryan and Jed form a search party, but entering the haunted woods with night drawing in soon confounds the rescuers.

• _{Friday, November 30th, 2007}

  4: Sweet Sorrow

  The pair are flushed with pride as they dream of their son's golden future, but when Tyler's exam results let him down, it is the staff who provide the key to his career and get him motivated.

• _{Friday, December 7th, 2007}

  5: Fifteen Minutes

  Boycie can't believe that his staff are auditioning for a reality TV show, but the lure of fame proves too much to resist. Marlene has some plans of her own for when he's away.

• _{Friday, December 14th, 2007}

  6: The Final Curtain

  Boycie uncovers shocking information about his family tree and, with Tyler unexpectedly returning home from university, he is convinced something serious is afoot.

• _{Friday, December 21st, 2007}

  7: Lust In Translation

  Bryan gets more than he bargained for when he meets his new love and the staff's loyalties are severely tested. Llewellyn seizes the opportunity of securing extra labour for his harvest.

• _{Sunday, December 30th, 2007}

  8: The Special Relationship (2007 New Year Special)

  Boycie is asked to turn detective when an unexpected visitor arrives at Winterdown Farm with a secret from the past that, if confirmed, will have massive consequences for one member of the staff.

Season 4

• _{Thursday, January 8th, 2009}

  1: The Path of True Love

  Marlene has become fed up with her husband's inattention, and fears that their relationship is nearing its end. She seeks the help of a local marriage guidance counsellor, which proves so successful that she ends up throwing Boycie out, but the parting gives them both time to consider their lives.

• _{Thursday, January 15th, 2009}

  2: Home Brew

  While searching through some ancient scrolls and paperwork left behind by the old squire, Boycie discovers a medieval recipe for a traditional local liquor. With the help of his staff, he goes into full-scale production, attracting customers from far and wide, including two whom he had hoped he had seen the last of.

• _{Thursday, January 22nd, 2009}

  3: Calendar Boys

  Bored with life on the farm, Marlene throws herself into charity work. As a by-product of her efforts, Boycie senses an opportunity to become Sir Aubrey. Marlene, with the help of their staff, tries to use her charity contacts to help her husband achieve his dream. Unfortunately, life is very rarely that simple, particularly where Boycie and Marlene are concerned.

• _{Thursday, January 29th, 2009}

  4: Animal Instincts

  Tyler wants to borrow money to buy new equipment for his band, Puddle of Agony. But Boycie, who was brought up in the school of hard knocks, refuses to cough up. Meanwhile the local vicinity is gripped by fear of Animal Freedom protestors.

• _{Thursday, February 5th, 2009}

  5: Your Cheating Art

  Marlene is worried about Tyler being in a deep depression, and on what appears to be a starvation diet. He is withdrawn, and spends every hour painting gloomy pictures, and Marlene is forced to call for the help of her mother, Dora. Can Dora solve the mystery and put a smile back on her grandson's face?

• _{Thursday, February 12th, 2009}

  6: The Departed

  Boycie and Marlene drive Tyler back to his old university where his band, `Puddle of Agony', is about to perform its very first gig. The staff, left alone to look after the Grange, decide to help a couple of ghost-hunters who have arrived in the area seeking phantoms and ghouls. While Tyler's career seems to be slipping downhill, Bryan, Jed and Mrs Cakeworthy appear to be in seventh heaven.

• _{Thursday, February 19th, 2009}

  7: I Done It My Way

  Having decided to write his autobiography and leave it to the nation as a legacy for future generations, Boycie drifts back to old times and old friends and adventures in Peckham. He finds that the memories of the old days and of his new life on his Shropshire farm prove surprisingly enlightening, both for himself and Marlene.

• _{Thursday, February 26th, 2009}

  8: One Man's Junk

  The Antiques Roadshow' comes to Ludlow, and Marlene, already in the middle of a house makeover, sees an opportunity to have her old bric-a-brac valued by experts. She is not alone, as Elgin, Bryan, Jed and Mrs Cakeworthy have exactly the same idea. Surprisingly it is Boycie, with a little help from Tyler, who discovers the really valuable antique.

• _{Thursday, March 5th, 2009}

  9: For Richer, for Poorer

  The Antiques Roadshow' comes to Ludlow, and Marlene, already in the middle of a house makeover, sees an opportunity to have her old bric-a-brac valued by experts. She is not alone, as Elgin, Bryan, Jed and Mrs Cakeworthy have exactly the same idea. Surprisingly it is Boycie, with a little help from Tyler, who discovers the really valuable antique.