1000 Ways To Die
update
Season 0
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Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
2: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths
A meat packer gets locked a freezer; scuba diving and flying in the same day.
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Monday, October 24th, 2011
3: Death By Request
Highlights of the goriest, sexiest and most delightfully horrible deaths.
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Monday, October 24th, 2011
1: Death By Request
Highlights of the goriest, sexiest and most delightfully horrible deaths.
Season 1
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
1: Life Will Kill You
1000 Ways to Die looks at the following cases: "#208 Semi-cide" a man is run over by a semi and cut in half, "#422 Construction Accident" a man buried alive in three tons of sand, "#92 Fang Banged" a man who fell on a poisonous rattlesnake and was bit on the chest, "#832 Lesbocution" a woman who is electrocuted by walking barefoot into an electrified puddle, "#125 Love Bugged" a reptile and insect collector who was bit by a black widow spider, and "#640 Tumble Die" a hospital repairman is caught in a industrial strength dryer. It also looks at the case of a paramedic who survived after he was hit by a runaway car at the Dayton Speedway.
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Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
2: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths
A dim-witted meat packer gets his boss' granddaughter pregnant and then meets his fate in a mysteriously locked freezer. Three buddies find out - the hard way - you're not supposed to scuba dive and fly the same day. Man in homemade merman suit tries to swim with the fishes and winds up sleeping with them instead. Ways to Die: "Freeze Died" (#293), "Dive Bombed" (#713), "De-Coffinated" (#91), "Wet Dream" (#606), "Fur Burger" (#112) Way to Live: Parachute Jumper Shayna Richardson
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Sunday, February 8th, 2009
3: Death Over Easy
A fetish orgy and some grizzly realizations; a dozing beauty and a fire-breathing midget.
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Sunday, February 8th, 2009
4: Unforced Errors
A young beauty works out a fantasy; an attorney jumps out a window; a helium-filled death trap.
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Sunday, February 15th, 2009
5: Dead and Deader
A man has a reaction to a rubber suit.
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Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
6: Death Gets Busy
A man accidentally takes a bath in acid; a super model eats herself to death; an exploding tire.
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Sunday, March 1st, 2009
7: The Lighter Side of Death
A farm hand gets into trouble with the farmer's daughter; raw snails; a magician bites the bullet.
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Sunday, March 8th, 2009
8: The Good, The Bad, and the Dead
A survivalist has a run in with snakes; a shoplifter jumps in a dumpster.
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Sunday, March 15th, 2009
9: Death Be Not Stupid
A narcoleptic falls asleep on the job; a biker drinks gasoline; a couple die after making love.
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Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
10: Cure for the Common Death, Part 1
A group of rednecks get into fatal trouble while celebrating the 4th of July, and a pair of heavy metal enthusiasts discover the hidden dangers of head banging. Ways to Die: "Red, White and Blew" (#77), "Bank Ruptured" (#756), "Guitar Zeros" (#66), "Radium Girls" (#196), "Oz Holed" (#638), "Tanked Girl" (#710), "Law and OrDead" (#909) Way to Live: Skydiver Chris Colwell
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Sunday, March 29th, 2009
11: Death: A User's Manual
An overeater goes belly up; a body builder juices and loses; a young couple text themselves to death.
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Sunday, April 5th, 2009
12: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)
A fatal colonic; a delayed reaction to death; a hot dog thief chokes to death.
Season 2
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Sunday, December 6th, 2009
1: Death On Arrival
A woman's breast implants lead to her unexpected death during a flight; marijuana and a forklift combine to cause a young man's demise. Ways to Die: "Titty Titty Bang Bang" (#948), "Forked-Up" (#714), "UninTented" (#590), "Tali-Bombed" (#123), "Vike-O-Done" (#515), "Deadliest Munch" (#444), "Dead Meat-eorite" (#913), "Bubbled Out" (#68)
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Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
2: Death Bites!
Chubby chaser lands a big one, frat boy suffers frat burn, a fiddler hits a bad note, an ex-con gets exterminated, a French maid dusts off the boss, mobsters lose face and a limp lover goes down hard. Ways to Die: "Ass Phyxiated" (#451), "Work of Fart" (#103), "Crash-endo" (#76), "Vermin-ated" (#505), "French Fried" (#105), "Bomb-bino" (#803), "Die-agra" (#186)
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Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
3: Up With Death
A hot nurse strips down, two trippers get needled, a biker chick goes down, a hold up gets messed up, a hockey fight gets bloody and a raccoon lover is smitten and bitten. Ways to Die: "M-R-Ouch!" (#485), "Succu Offed" (#229), "Coming & Going" (#432), "Coffin Nailed" (#150), "Greased Is The Word" (#89), "Blades of Gory" (#110), "Boris Bititoff" (#611), "Laced Up" (#162)
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Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
4: Putting a Happy Face on Death
A thief hides in a car wash with deadly consequences, and a man caught cheating at a cock fight is killed by his own rooster. Ways to Die: "Rub-A-Dubbed Out" (#712), "Cock-A-Doodle-Die" (#616), "Chucked Up" (#534), "Little Person Big Death" (#332), "Booby-Zapped" (#254), "ReToaded" (#234), "Vegged Out" (#114), "Die Laughing" (#195)
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Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
5: Bringing In The Dead
A rapist makes a fatal error when he attacks a cross-dressing boxer, and the unexpected dangers of hula and belly dancing are explained. Ways to Die: "D. U. Die" (#528), "Belly'd Up" (#146), "Suck Her Punched" (#217), "Jack 'n Croaked" (#177), "Dead Heat" (#657), "Poi Vey" (#96), "ReTired" (#412), "Cleane-Dead Solution" (#308)
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Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
6: Gratefully Dead
An anal compulsive turns repulsive; a purse snatcher takes a fall; a weightlifter loses his grip; a young goth gets exorcised; a smoker gets smoked; two dopes do themselves (in); a cow lover gets milked. Ways to Die: "Mercury in Uranus" (#599), "A Turn For The Purse" (#297), "Dead Weight" (#102), "Cult Evaded" (#310), "Smoke-A-Doped" (#463), "Two Stoopid" (#655), "Cream-ated" (#204), "Rolled Death" (#313)
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Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
7: Come On Get Deathy
A little person swallows a harp; a cute bliss seeker gets tanked; a mean hubby goes over the edge; a guitar player gets unplugged; a gold digger digs her own grave; a dumb thief breaks his numbskull; a spurned lover gets trashed. Ways to Die: "Tanks for Nothing" (#113), "The Chokes On You" (#322), "Back Broke Mountain" (#111), "Grateful Bed" (#120), "Fore Head" (#479), "Booty Trapped" (#333), "S**t Canned" (#412), "Last Blast" (#983)
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Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
8: Death Watch
A group of hot cheerleaders get buzzed; a B-52 goes down in flames; a speed freak blows his mind; a cat hater gets his head handed to him; a health nut gets ratted out; a golfing couple has some bad fore play. Ways to Die: "Washed and Fried" (#238), "Bad Hair Day" (#300), "Micro-Whacked" (#539), "Pussy Whipped" (#88), "Blend-Dead" (#457), "Shanks for the Memories" (#116), "Snake du Jour" (#142), "Dumb Skull" (#292)
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Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
9: Waking Up Dead
A nagging housewife blows her own fuse; a construction worker takes a deadly bathroom break; a stowaway gets his ass-sets frozen; a cheating gambler gets squeezed and an acupuncture patient misses the point. Ways to Die: "Phone Boned" (#662), "Toilet Rolled" (#521), "Mile Die Club" (#559), "Bitch Zapped" (#140), "Texas Fold 'Em" (#311), "Written Offed" (#168), "Ball 'n Pain" (#817), "Last Beer-Dead" (#442)
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Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
10: You're Dead! LOL!
A moron gets smoked by cigarettes; a remote glider crashes into the owner; a reject boyfriend gets rejected; a dog walker gets hounded to death; a biker causes a riot and the Samurai Death Squad loses a member. Ways to Die: "Samurai Death Squad" (#198), "Shafted" (#856), "Smoked" (#343), "Just Plane Dead" (#413), "Exhaustdead" (#108), "Ruffed Up" (#227), "Lady & The Trampled" (#115), "Stone Hard" (#586)
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Wednesday, February 17th, 2010
11: Dead to Rights
A man with anger management issues is killed three different ways simultaneously, and death results when a teenage purse snatcher targets an elderly tae kwon do master. Ways to Die: "Blown Job" (#118), "Anger Damagement" (#355), "Wrin-killed" (#235), "Huffington Toast" (#98), "Hydro-Co-Done" (#157), "Samu-Fry" (#218), "Screwged" (#236), "Safecracked Pitch" (#214)
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Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
12: Dead on Dead
Two drug smugglers find themselves in hot water in the South Pacific, and the CIA uses a gamma ray gun to eliminate a terrorist. Ways to Die: "Weenie Roast" (#101), "Reef Stew" (#202), "Fiddle Licked" (#889), "Snakey Breaky Neck" (#224), "Beer Bashed" (#540), "Bad Assid" (#321), "Tree Mugger" (#176), "Dead Me Stallion" (#568)
Season 3
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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
1: Death On A Stick
A drunk man literally slides into death, a game of Russian Roulette has an unusual twist and a boy band's swan song ends with a swan dive.
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Tuesday, September 14th, 2010
2: Putting A Smiley Face On Death
Russian mobsters share their last drink, a blonde bombshell literally lights up the night and a nature lover ends up joining the dead animal friend she tried to save.
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Tuesday, September 21st, 2010
3: Stupid is as Stupid Dies
A meth addict bites off more than he can chew, the sorority girl from hell gets sucked down into it and a young couple share their last kiss.
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
4: Dead Wrongs
Two con men get blown away, a sushi chef becomes the butt of a joke and the deadly consequences of porn addiction.
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Tuesday, October 5th, 2010
5: Fatal Distractions
A drug runner gets a heads up, a glutton goes belly up, a man-baby gets timed out, a nature hater gets turtle waxed, two stoners get bonged, a woman gets down and dirty and a man-hater gets feminated.
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2010
6: The End is Weird
A exhibitionist gets the shock of his life, a death that's literally hard to swallow & a street ball player gets some deadly hang time.
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Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
7: Hurry Up and Die
An amateur car customer gets swept away, a cheapskate gets what he paid for and a real estate deal goes up in flames.
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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010
8: Death Puts On a Dunce Cap
A hunter becomes the game, a soccer fan blows himself out and a crack addicted couple's world comes crashing down.
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Tuesday, November 9th, 2010
9: Young, Dumb and Full of Death
A clumsy salesman burns out, a phony priest sees the gets sent to Kingdom Come and a when man does his own version of "Man vs. Wild", wild wins.
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Wednesday, December 8th, 2010
10: Today's Menu: Deep Fried Death
Death in the 70's! A mean girl gets a chubby bunny, a juicer gets juiced, a thief bites his tongue and a biker boy craps out.
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Wednesday, December 15th, 2010
11: Cure for the Common Death
A low rider gets crushed; nun chucks take out a dummy; Big Foot gets the boot; a case of spy vs. die; bikini girl swallows the wrong thing; a jockey gets thrown; an adult clown gets deep throated.
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Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010
12: Sudden Death
A geek has his revenge against a jock, the deadly results from a corset and a British torturer comes up with an idea for a man that's too tall for the rack.
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Wednesday, December 29th, 2010
13: Dying to Tell the Story
A spoiled man learns the hard way to not fall asleep in the middle of Africa, an Amish man and a southern couple die sipping on the good stuff and in a battle of man against computer, the computer wins.
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Saturday, January 15th, 2011
14: If You're Dead - Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You
The origin of the phrase "Mad as a Hatter", a criminal's cries for help literally fall on deaf ears and a con artist who intentionally injures himself ends up getting a much worse unintentional injury.
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Tuesday, February 8th, 2011
15: The One About Dumb People Dying!
A cremator gets creamed, Two luggage thieves steal the wrong bag and a pumpkin thief gets gourd and many other bizarre stories.
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Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
16: Getting A Rise From The Dead
A sign spinner who picks a deadly way to flip his sign, a sneaky sous chef who picks the wrong place to hide from other staff and a mob hit by two mobsters that goes very wrong.
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Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
17: Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death
A Japanese game show contestant dives down but comes up dead, a parkour enthusisast takes an unhealthy leap and two drunk hunters finding out that dynamite usage can be hazardous to one's health.
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Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011
18: Grave Errors
A hairstylist discovering drugs and alcohol while working can be deadly, a pair of female con artists who find going into a flooded basement can be shocking and a cell phone addict meeting her end in a move theater.
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Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
19: Killing Them Softly
A Nigerian scam artist who winds up on the wrong end of his latest con, a grave robber who falls victim to the graveyard surroundings and an ex-Nazi who falls victim to delayed justice.
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Wednesday, March 16th, 2011
20: Better Them Than Us
A theater owner finding out that flying can lead to the final curtain call, a Russian who gets death from above and a Revolutionary war setting with explosive results for one man.
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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
21: Dead Before They Know It
A girl takes cream from an unaware roommate with deadly consequences, two Sudanese thieves get death from high in the sky and a holiday mall Santa who ends the season on an icy point.
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2011
22: Stupid Is As Death Does
A drunk sitting in an old pilot's seat gets fatally launched, teenagers in a drinking game find smoking and booze can be deadly and a video game addict learns the hard way that long term playing can lead to a real life "game over".
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Tuesday, April 5th, 2011
23: That's "Mister Death" To You
A football player's odd place for storing his gun has deadly results, a terrorist escapes only for his method of escaping leads to his demise and a bank robber losing his head during the attempted theft.
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Monday, July 18th, 2011
24: Death, The New Black
A disco dancer takes a fatal spin on the dance floor, a sauna contest has deadly results for the last contestant and an obnoxious drunk meets a heavy end at a plus sized beauty pageant.
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Monday, July 25th, 2011
25: Death Be A Lady Tonight
An obnonoxious man steals a cab ride and gets cut down literally, an unhinged woman learns there is a fatal way to stalk her ex and terrorists find out that death can come from an unseen enemy.
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Monday, August 1st, 2011
26: Today’s Special: Death
A woman who lied about her welding experience gets an explosive payback, a Prohibition era gunman finds a steamy bath house room is not the place to pull a gun and a right wing political activist makes a fatal point.
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Monday, August 8th, 2011
27: Eat, Pray Die
A Dark Ages witch hunter meets death by stones, a juvenile delinquent fools around with a piece of farm equipment with fatal results and a drunk at a bachelor party receives a sharp and fatal blow.
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Monday, August 15th, 2011
28: Wait, Don't Tell Me - You're Dead
A neo-nazi opens up a can of whoop ass, an epileptic stripper goes lights out, a poser diver washes out, a bunch of drug smugglers get caught red handed, a voyeur gets hood winked, a stalker gets shafted and a prankster’s prank backfires.
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Monday, August 22nd, 2011
29: Death: The Gift That Lasts Forever
A cheatin' hubby gets eaten by a bear, an old pervert sex-plodes, a bride goes down at the altar, a package gets an anthrax surprise, an insomniac commits a hit and run, a bearded hipster drowns and a drunk worker's pants explode.
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Monday, August 29th, 2011
30: Death: One Size Fits All
A bakery worker, a coal miner, an oil wrestler and a driving instructor meet untimely demises.
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Monday, October 24th, 2011
31: Deadliest Kitsch
Dictator gets stuck; securtiy guard gets hosed; rock climber falls; cyclist runs out of breath; circus clown meets an insane posse.
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Monday, October 31st, 2011
32: Grave Decisions
Politico has a sneezing fit; a gun toting man blows up; a dirty biker gets justice; camper boils over with love.
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Monday, November 7th, 2011
33: Dirt Nap
A bank robber sticks his neck out for a friend, red head gets taken down, a badass teen meets a mail box, a sheister shopper takes a dip, a fat man loses face, and a fart that kills.
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Monday, November 14th, 2011
34: Death Takes A Vacation
Food trucker gets fried; chemical engineer gets burned; drug dealer goes for a trip; mime is silenced.
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Monday, November 21st, 2011
35: Wild Wild Death
An inside job sucks the air out of a room; a superhero tries to fly; girl wants to strangle her boss.
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Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
36: Death Penalties
Wedding singer gets choked up, muscle bound woman meets her maker, wanna be chef loses face, french maid gets stuck on iron maiden, mugger spills own guts, a "winning" tv star gets cancelled.
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Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
37: Die-abestic
A lady puckers up one last time, a tow truck driver becomes a head banger, a waitress gets a bad tip, a food critic forgets the point, turkey gets hit with a turkey, neck massager takes a womans breath away, a dancer loses heart.
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Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
38: Star Death: The Last Generation
Cat lady's love goes too fur, a burglar falls for his victim, a mob boss is given the finger, a nasty super model is given a dead eye, a customer is left breathless by great savings, a guy rolls over the point.
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Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012
39: Death - Putting the 'Fun' in 'Funeral'
Trainer and barbells meet, a polygamist falls for his own trap, lady misses the point of marriage, a couple wine and die, cable thief gets screwed, ticket scalper doesn't beat a light, dodgeballer has to dodge more than balls.
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Wednesday, February 29th, 2012
40: Sor-Dead Affair
A man sexes up a statue, a sleep walker goes for a swim, hot headed swimming instructor gets over heated, bad parrot sitter takes a fall, rioter gets the wind knocked out of him, and a man dies with a happy ending.
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Wednesday, February 29th, 2012
41: Locked and Low Dead
Socialite goes green, man with short fuse finally blows, woman high jumps to her death, crooked cop has the smell of decay, a wormy scam artist, trippy trip to the market, lame mad scientist gets burned.
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Wednesday, February 29th, 2012
42: Locked and Low Dead
Season 4
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Monday, March 12th, 2012
1: Enter The Ferret
A fat man squeezes into a baby swing; a female boxer goes down; a stoner gets launched; bad man takes an acid bath; a food fight turns deadly; a tattoo artist swallows a chain; a ferret goes up the eerie canal.
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Monday, March 19th, 2012
2: Think Globally, Die Locally
A Chinese rapper gets grilled; a mini-golfer maxes out; a super lotto winner goes super nuts; a yoga teacher is a real gas; hipster goes down in slo-mo; a hacker gets hacked; a warden can't lock it down.
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Monday, March 26th, 2012
3: Tweets From The Dead
A bug hater bugs out; a wedding crasher cuts loose; a street vendor lights up; a hijacker fights inflation; a thief gets a meat beat down; a ghost hunter gets spooked.
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Monday, April 2nd, 2012
4: A New App Called Death
A bicycle hater gets drilled; dummy tries to milk a pig; a diva gets winded; a scavenger loses his head; an office tart breaks the copy machine; motel inspector wakes up dead.
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Sunday, July 15th, 2012
5: Death Certificates
A fitness instructor gets bounced; a bird smuggler gets the flu; coke mules get branded; husband and wife take a hit; computer thief crashes and burns; moonshiner gets poked; a director makes a scene.
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Sunday, July 15th, 2012
6: Crying Over Spilled Blood
Tennis brat gets the shaft; a sadistic bank loan officer; a dead-eye sniper; a tourist eats a ghost chili; a deadly infomercial; a jail break gone wrong; a cave man discovers fire.
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Sunday, July 15th, 2012
7: It's A Dead Dead Dead World
Lazy husband goes on a roll; terrorists get gas; a survivalist doesn't; urine big trouble; germaphobe takes a deadly bath; little person-big death; death on the jersey shore.
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Sunday, July 15th, 2012
8: Death, The Final Frontier
Strongman gets weak in the knees; a tease gets stoned; a flirty husband falls for a chain saw; a drunk wife crashes a sobriety party; a garage sale turns deadly; a flasher exposes his weakness; pot user goes brain dead.